??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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