hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
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this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
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I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize