Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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