I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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