So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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