holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
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