So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
