What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
