what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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