will power is for people who don't want to get laid
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
