im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
