it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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