I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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