so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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