So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
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Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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