Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
