just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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