she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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