whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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