i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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