First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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