if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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