hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
