when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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