hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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