You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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