I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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