ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize