i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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