Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize