Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
