you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize