Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
