Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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