Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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