you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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