Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
