this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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