Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
