he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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