we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize