hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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