i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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