Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
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I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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