You just made me feel so damn special
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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