i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
that is very illegal...i love you.
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