She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize