Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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