so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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