I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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