i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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