yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize