Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
