he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
