we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Drunk is not a location!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
