Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
