How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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