Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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