Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
