The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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