I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
