Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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