Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
