You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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