Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
please come you make the beer taste better
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
