I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
